Of all the sports in the world, I connect with soccer the least. Maybe it’s because my “Basketball is the only sport we recognize in this house” grandmother raised me. Everyone knows you can only like one sport at a time. FIFA World Cup? Zero interest. Now, though? I’ve experienced something greater than soccer. It’s Fútbol, bitch; it’s also yet another deckbuilder — NUTMEG! A Nostalgic Deckbuilding Football Manager!

Where There’s Smoke, There’s ‘Nutmeg!’

Starting NUTMEG!, I was given a thorough tutorial. The deckbuilding aspect, somehow, was one of the last tutorial items on the checklist! First, I had to figure out how to build a strong front office. Securing additional revenue streams separate from our work on the pitch. Hiring coaches and trainers to give direction to the team and boost individuals’ cards (skills).

“Hold up, you rambunctious bastard!” the game said as I readied myself for deckbuilding. “Here’s how to hire, transfer, and train your players, manage your cash, please your fans, meet the board’s lofty expectations — and NOW we can talk about cards and matches!”

Turns out NUTMEG! is a full-fledged deckbuilder/management sim! It’s beyond cards; it’s the hopes and dreams of an entire franchise on your back. And it’s intoxicating. This is genuinely the first time I actively enjoyed the following things: Fútbol, Sports Management Sims, and Career Modes. NUTMEG! taught me about the elegance of the sport. …And the stress of being the operational head of a team with a board of executives and ravenous fans to satisfy.

Fútbol At Its Finest

To kick things off (heh), I chose Halifax to be my experimental team. We had a modest (entirely optional) goal: end the season among our division’s Top 12 teams. This would be a tall order because Halifax was, uh… …in a transitional phase. The kind of team that would need a few seasons to become dangerous enough to sniff a championship. But I love a good underdog story, so on we went!

Our very first game was a friendly exhibition! Aaaaand we somehow left with a draw against a team we should’ve steamrolled. “Well,” I said, sensing acute pain in the near future, “I guess we can toss that Top 12 dream in the trash!” We quickly established our team motto: “A draw for thee is a win for me!” We capital-S STRUGGLED to the point where I celebrated breaking even like a motherfucker. Pivotal draws kept us in the 12-18 range in our division. As long as we snuck our way to 12 somehow, nothing else mattered!

Our games were never in the post-game news roundup of exciting triumphs within the league. We were so mid that we never received sponsors, which would’ve injected us with the cash we needed to not completely drown. Shit, we couldn’t even upgrade our stadium until the last five games of a 50-game season. The board refused to approve that until we met a fan capacity threshold, but the fans kept eluding us because we were out there backflipping and popping champagne whenever we forced a draw.

Sometimes, Small Wins Mean More Than Big Wins

Despite everything, though? Our season ended with the mother of all climactic moments. We were the 14th seed in our division, and it looked like that Top 12 goal was a wash. But somehow, the lads pulled together to get their signature 1-0 win — a staple of the wins we’d snatch throughout the season. …Catapulting us to that fabled 12th seed by the skin of our teeth. The stars aligned in a way where we won, and the teams we needed to lose ate shit at the perfect time. I’m not ashamed to admit I audibly cheered.

That’s NUTMEG! It made me care about sub-genres and entire sports I never gave a passing glance. I could’ve talked about the magic of the deckbuilding: how it beautifully simulates the nail-biting chaos of a real game. How it uses percentages to drive you crazy in the best and worst ways. But as is tradition, I refuse to spoil the game’s secrets! Know that NUTMEG! turned a soccer dunce into a Fútbol Fiend. That’s the endorsement, indeed! 

Yes, I’m still standing with Halifax. No, we probably won’t win a championship this season, either. But the goal this time is to at least rack up more wins than draws. Slow and steady wins the race, right?