Right off the bat, I'm gonna tell you something about me. If I have the option to take down an enemy using words or bonking them with a stick? I'm going to choose the stick. After hearing a ton of good things about games like Disco Elysium, I decided to dive in and see if it was a genre that was going to stick with me. After drunkenly stumbling around trying to find my shoe for what felt like forever, it went back into the backlog. Even bigger games like Baldur's Gate 3 never really tickled my fancy, and I figured that maybe the CRPG genre just wasn't for me.

That is, until Esoteric Ebb came around. See, Dwayne likes to spoil me and randomly gift me games that he won't shut the fuck up about. To be fair, I'm the same way, but I typically gift him games like Ratshaker or other weird-ass games that I stumble upon. Esoteric Ebb, on the other hand, is a thinkin' man's game. One of them there games that have lots of big words and stuff like that. So, after creating a character that excels in strength and basically has the intellect of a potato, I set off on an adventure that I won't soon forget.

YOU STRONG LIKE RAMBO, LOOK LIKE HERO. BUT YOUR BRAIN JUST LIKE POTATO.

One thing I like to do before I jump into a game is check the Steam reviews to see what kind of experience I'm about to get myself into. In a game like this, I may be tempted to run a more Intelligence-based build, as I'm a big fan of magic and the sort. But after seeing many people mention that you'll get lore-dumped to the point of not understanding what is going on anymore, I decided to go for the opposite. At the start of Esoteric Ebb, you get to create your hero. A character sheet is one of the first things you'll see, and you need to think about the type of hero you want to be before you embark on a quest to... help set the first election into motion?

Ebb is a maliable little guy. You can dump points wherever you'd like them to be, and I decided that Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution needed to be my main focuses. A bit of Charisma and Wisdom for good measure. And just like real life, leaving Intelligence up to chance. I think it's the best thing that I could have done, because now, Ebb is a strong little lad with the brain of a potato, and I adore him for that fact. He's quick to point out that Goblins are, in fact, green, and that he loves his bike. But the more complex matters? I can solve those with my fists if push comes to shove.

The Ebbs and Flows of a Low-Intelligence Build

At this point, the quirky and incredibly fun writing for the low-intelligence build has inspired me to finish this run and try it again with the Lore-Dumpingly intriguing High Intelligence build. To be fair, it's going to be a little while. I'm soaking in the world around me and letting my Simple Ebb take in every sight and sound that he can. Just because he's a little stupid doesn't mean that he doesn't have a pure heart, though. Ebb is incredibly kind to every person, creature, dwarf, and orc he comes across. He's willing to listen to the Dwarves who don't have a proper permit to petition and do what he can to avoid bloodshed.

He's quick to dismiss the anger of the Government Appointed Orc who wants these Dwarves gone. All I can imagine is a goofy little smile under his helmet as he tries to understand the finer things of life in the midst of these conversations. Each skill point comes into play during conversations, with my Charisma, Wisdom, Intellect, and everything in between driving how a conversation can occur and conclude. But, just like in real life, I can make up for my lack of intelligence by being the most charismatic bastard you'll ever meet.

Esoteric Ebb Is More Dungeons and Diplomats Than Dungeons and Dragons, but I Can Still Hit Things With Sticks

If you were turned off by a lack of combat systems in games like Disco Elysium, you'll be glad to know that combat is here. While you can dismantle a potential confrontation with your words and try to charm the pants off your opponents, you can still smack 'em around a little bit. This is taught to you almost immediately in the first room, where you'll need to dispatch of a zombie who is stacking apples in a massive pile. Appleboy or not, you need to get through. And you need to eat more than an apple a day, even though it keeps the doctor away.

As expected for a CRPG, everything is determined by a throw of the digital dice. You could land on a nat-20 and excel with ease. Or the potential of a critical failure could be right around the corner. It makes encounters more interesting and exciting. Even though there's always the chance of a random terrible roll ruining your progress, your character sheet can push the advantage back onto your side. There are a lot of things to learn about Esoteric Ebb, and nowhere near enough time to talk about them all here.

A Roll of the Dice, and Things Could Go Quite Nice

The real star of the show, outside of the excellent visual design and fantastic score, is the writing. It's quirky, witty, and has genuinely made me laugh out loud more than a few times so far. And I'm not even that far into the game at this point, to be fair. As mentioned before, my version of Ebb is basically a Roided Up Moron, so I've received a few fantastic lines that have sent my sides into orbit. No matter if it's something as silly as him just pointing out the obvious, like mentioning in the midst of a serious conversation that Goblins Are Green, or his adoration for his locked-up bike, he's a loveable idiot.

Seeing as my other skills are leveled up rather well, I'm still able to parse everything that is going on around me. But occasionally, my seemingly pea-sized brain will just drop a knowledge bomb that is so out of left field, I can't help but smile. The writing in Esoteric Ebb should be nominated for an award when the time comes, as it's one of the best-written games I've ever played. And that isn't just my low-intellect build talking.

Esoteric Ebb’s World Is Beautiful and Dense, and I Can’t Wait To Explore More of It

There's one thing that is even more fantastic than the writing here, and it's the overall world. Esoteric Ebb has an incredibly dense, beautiful world, ripe for exploration. While I've only had a little time in these lands, I'm already itching to jump back in. But instead, Lockie and Jack are making me write about games and stuff, so I can't play Esoteric Ebb right now. Stinky. Regardless, the world is massive, ripe for exploration, and interesting in many regards. You don't have a typical map here, so trying to find your way around at first is going to be difficult. But the game rewards you for going off the beaten path. Maybe with a new weapon or an apple or two, but a reward is a reward in my eyes.

Charming the pants (or the crossbow) off of NPCs is a great little feature, and the combat and exploration have more depth than I expected. While I may have never been incredibly interested in CRPG games in the past? Esoteric Ebb has finally broken that curse. All I needed to find was a game where I could play as a bumbling idiot. Much like I already do in my daily life. But at least here, I can talk to goblins and befriend dwarves. Can't do that shit IRL.