Sharing a game with someone you love is a great feeling. No matter if you're playing something cozy and relaxing like Palia or jumping into an adventure like Split Fiction, games are always better with friends or significant others. But there's one particular genre that always seems to be lacking on the multiplayer front. Simulation games. I'm a big fan of games like American Truck Simulator, because it literally kept me sane during the COVID pandemic. Playing online with a group of randoms, cosplaying as actual truckers, was a high that I've been chasing since that time.

But now? There's a new king in town. And this king is called Supermarket Together. While browsing on the Steam store for something to play with my wife, Katie, she stumbled upon this gem of a game. But what makes it better than something like Supermarket Simulator, you may be asking? Well, the fact that it's multiplayer is actually functioning, first off.

But, as with any of these "Unity Slop" multiplayer titles, there's a level of unhinged excitement that makes every visit better than the last. The progression in the game? It's genuinely great. The level of absurdity that happens when you start beating the everliving shit out of someone with a broom for stealing from your store? Gratification beyond your wildest dreams. I hate to say it, but Supermarket Together may be some of the most fun I've had playing a game with my wife in years, and I can't comprehend how this game is free to play. We've already put 21.5 hours into the game in less than a week. It's an incredible experience that I can't stop thinking about, even with Borderlands 4 and Pokémon Legends Z-A waiting in my backlog to be finished.

Unity Slop, My Beloved <3

If you've played one simulator game before, you've likely been greeted by the familiar Unity logo before. In my eyes? That's a sign that we're in for something good. Unity is a great little program, and it powers some of my favorite games. But there's always a level of polish that is typically left to be desired. Here? That lack of polish is what gives Supermarket Together its charm. Shit is disappearing through walls. Customers jankily huddle around a broken cooler and continue to fall like it's a Benny Hill sketch or something. There's always something happening here, and there's never a dull moment from when our store opens to when it closes.

Speaking of our store, we can customize nearly every aspect of it. Currently, as the person in charge of naming and decorating our store, it has a Black Dynamite theme. Black Dynamart is the hottest grocery store in town, and our cashiers, Cream Corn and Bullhorn, keep the store running like a well-oiled machine. Mo Bitches and Fiendish Dr. Wu keep our shelves full, while Tasty Freeze is bringing in more stock. But what kind of store would we be if we didn't have great security, smashing and bashing the skulls of anyone dumb enough to attempt to steal from our location? That's where Chocolate Giddy-Up and Black Hand Jack come into play. No, I promise I'm not just making up names. Black Dynamite is one of the greatest films ever made, and I highly suggest you watch it.

My Produce Section Is Called ‘I Grew That Shit Before I Walked in the Room’, and It’s Amazing

The customization in Supermarket Together may be one of my favorite parts of the game. As with many games in the same vein, I'm able to change the color of the floors and the walls and all of that kind of stuff. That's boring. But the fact that I can name each of my characters to fall in line with whatever weird-ass theme I'm going for for this week? That's the good shit. For example, referencing one of the greatest comedic scenes of all time in any movie ever, my produce section has the best Black Dynamite reference I could have asked for. It's just pure, unhinged glory in every moment that we're in the store, and we've still got so much more to do in the game before we call it quits.

What Other Game Lets You Beat the Piss Out of a Shoplifter With a Broom?

My favorite part of Supermarket Together, however, has to be the ability to just obliterate the life out of someone who is trying to shoplift. Gone are the days of needing to file a police report to get any form of compensation for the goods that have gone MIA. We take justice into our own hands here. While beating the piss out of someone with a broom, you'll get chasitized by the Shoplifters. They'll tell you to shove it up your ass. To hit them harder, baby. Everything in between. It's fucking amazing, and I can't stop laughing as I'm smacking them up and down the street, claiming all of my goods in the process.

Even more astonishing and wild, there's a full-blown perk tree available. This gives players the chance to upgrade their store, unlock more workers, and make people using the self-checkout move faster than a turtle. Oh yeah, and more groceries. We can't forget about the main part of the game: running and maintaining a grocery store. Katie and I, outside of the absurd naming and theming of our store, have a very respectable-looking layout. We've both worked retail in our lives, and we agree that Supermarket Together is one of the most realistic depictions of this type of work. You've got customers that walk right in front of you while you're stocking and changing prices. Folks that just kind of stand there, staring at you with no soul behind their eyes. Just like real life.

Yeah, It’s Cool That You Just Walked Right in Front of Me While I’m Changing Prices. No Biggie, Dude.

That's got to be my biggest frustration with Supermarket Together, though. Trying to change prices during a busy time of the day. Players will have customers complaining about the prices, so the only thing you can try to do is jump out there and change them before you lose out on more sales. But if a customer walks in front of you, your progress will reset. It's obnoxious, sure. But even with that frustration, we can't stop playing this godforsaken game. It's been a very, very long time since we've both been so enthralled by a simple premise like this. Maybe since the original PowerWash Simulator or House Flipper 2? But we just can't put Supermarket Together down. Please, help me. It's a problem.

Clean up on Aisle ”Freetime”, Please. Clean up on Aisle ”Freetime”.

After just a few hours of playing this free-to-play masterpiece, I had to support the devs somehow. That's why I was glad to see that there was a $4.99 DLC pack that gave us access to the "Cool People Room". Here, we could customize our characters, add emotes and dances, and even access a full-blown internet browser within the game. We've been bumping music, from classics that we grew up on to YouTube mash-ups that would make most cringe. It's an absolute mess 98% of the time, and we couldn't ask for anything better.

Supermarket Together is a gem of a game. Regardless of whether you're playing solo or with up to EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE, it's pure chaos in the best possible way. Grab a Mini Transport Vehicle, start running over your customers, and just have a blast. Is the game polished? For the most part, yes. But it's janky in all the right ways. To be fair, you probably won't even care, especially once you start locking your friends away behind shelves and beating the brakes off of one another with brooms, sending each other flying through the store. Seriously, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're playing. Download Supermarket Together with a group of friends or your significant other, and let the hours melt away. You can thank me later.