If, for some ungodly reason, you’ve been following my writing journey, you might remember an article about how Dave the Diver helped me during a two-month unemployment stint in 2024. Following the recent end of a six-month contract, I find myself staring down the barrel of the dreaded “not currently working” gun again. I could be unemployed for the next few weeks, months, or, if I’m super unlucky, well over a year. So, of course, I found the perfect game to play to underline the occasion: Unemployment Simulator 2018.

You’re some guy as he purchases some snacks, beer, and nondescript “food” from the store. He takes the bus home and strolls into his apartment, where we quickly discover that he’s been bitten by the unemployment bug. Your goals from there? “Wash 5 Dishes.” “Water Your Plant.” “Eat.” Within a rotating roster of tasks, you must also manage your dopamine and anxiety levels. If either meter is empty, you risk taking damage. …Which I suppose is more existential than physical, but you will die if those aren't taken care of. To meet those mental requirements, you can play your guitar! Or enjoy a game on your computer! …Or watch two bees have sex!

When you finish one of these Herculean chores, you’re applauded by an invisible audience – a surefire coping mechanism. Otherwise, you have four tasks to complete every day, then it’s time for bed. You pee, turn off the lights, and slip into a melancholic slumber, only to experience many strange, fantastical, terrifying dreams. There’s one where you press a button to work, then celebrate from your desk as money fills the screen. Dale (that's his name now) can dream of a family he wants but believes he’ll never have. And bees. Unemployment Simulator 2018 likes bees.

"...Why Would I Ever Want To Play This?"

“Dwayne, what’s the point of this game? Just to watch a man be out of a job and depressed?” Kinda, yeah! But I promise it’s all building to some true insanity I refuse to spoil here. Your motivation in the beginning is simple: find days when you actually feel like submitting applications, hoping to be gainfully employed so you can achieve something more than "barely surviving." But as the game goes on and your dreams get darker and more bizarre? You realize there’s more going on here than endless dishes to wash and mood stabilizers in the form of quick crying sessions!

The trash strewn along the floor never goes away. The laundry pile haphazardly tossed next to your bed never gets smaller, no matter how many times you wash your clothes. There’s only you, your sanity (that only gets more difficult to uphold with each passing day), and your attempts to end a tear-soaked, drunken, capitalistic nightmare. According to the game’s developer, Samuel Lehikoinen, Unemployment Simulator 2018 is based on “true events.” And with how accurately the game portrays depression, alongside the fear and uncertainty of unemployment, I believe it! …Well, to a point. Again, the game gets crazy.

Real Recognizes Real

That’s all I’m giving you for a “review.” For me, it was an oddly cathartic, surreal game to play through. Is it conventionally “fun”? No. Despite the occasional dips into dark humor, I can’t say I'd recommend this if you’re looking for an exciting game unconcerned with your actual real-world state of being. But if you’re an apparent masochist like me and/or enjoy a well-timed experience of a game? Unemployment Simulator 2018 is well worth the $9.99 price tag. I'm sorry -- I think highly of games that will proudly give me an existential crisis!

On a more serious note, though, it hit me at the “perfect” moment when I can most appreciate it. When a game dares to take on such a raw, relatable internal (and external) struggle and succeeds, it’s validating. It says, “What you’re feeling is normal, and you aren’t the only one going through it.” Eventually, I tackled chores and tasks as I would in real life: get all the “getting myself together for the day” stuff out of the way, then get to work on job applications. Did that make an observable difference in managing Dale’s anxiety and dopamine? No! It was just nice to inject some of my own routine into the mix and reestablish the normalcy of having a set schedule.

'Unemployment Simulator 2018' Will Humble You In A Heartbeat

In some ways, Unemployment Simulator 2018 is like looking into a future I hope doesn’t come to pass. Watching as a person is beaten and broken by their financial misfortunes, it’s hard not to think about the very real horrors of the job market, where your skills and connections become amorphous non-starters in a massive sea of potential hires. Where you submit application after application and either never hear back or receive an outright rejection (and sometimes, you aren’t sure which outcome is less hurtful). It bleeds into your personal life and makes you feel unwanted because we exist in a system where productivity and "usefulness" are deified as core values.

The way I see it, there are two realistic pathways from here:

1. The Employment Gods are feeling generous and grant me the chance to show off my skills and be damn good at what I do!
2. Unemployment Simulator 2026. Subtract the drinking and aliens, but keep the crying and self-loathing. Oops, I guess that’s kind of a spoiler, huh? Whatever – it’s in the trailer!

In conclusion, Unemployment Simulator 2018? Cool vibes! Just make sure you’re in the proper headspace before you play it.