I mentioned it in passing in a previous article, but in 2024, I was briefly unemployed from the beginning of March to the middle-ish of May. Truthfully, I was supremely lucky to have landed on my feet in such a short amount of time. Compared to others who have to suffer through unemployment for much longer nowadays, I made a miracle work. Now, I'm a little over a month into Unemployment V2. Since transparency is kinda my deal, I'll admit to battling two lifelong demons: Perfectionism and Workaholism. Unemployment is a personal hell that's an affront to my internal world -- where long hours meet a thirst to be one of the best in a vain attempt to achieve "perfection." But then, an old one-toothed friend showed up when I needed him most: Croc.

Hello, Gobbos, My Old Friends

(Yes, I'm considering Croc: Legend of the Gobbos "indie" -- it counts!) For those who may not know (and I'm aging myself by saying this), Croc originally released on the PlayStation 1 in 1997. As a PS1 Girlie, my first exposure to platformers was Spyro the Dragon, Crash Bandicoot, and this adorable green fiend here! If you asked me back then (as well as I could articulate such an opinion as a child, anyway), I'd tell you Croc was tragically underrated. As a matter of fact, Shaun and I would playfully argue about who was better between Croc and Gex during our run at [REDACTED]. Currently, I'm playing through the Platinum Edition Croc: Legend of the Gobbos remaster. And, boy, do I have some thoughts.

If you ask me today if Croc is underrated? My answer would not change. Actually, I hold a higher opinion of the Kersplat King now! Most of that goodwill is centered around the updated controls, yes. But I figured I'd challenge myself while I have some spare time, so I set off to 100% the game. There are very few games I can stand to even try to reach 100% -- not because of quality, but because games take so damn long to beat as it is. To date, I've hit 100% on the original Spyro trilogy, and I'm working on having Croc join that super-small VIP section. You know what I didn't remember about Croc: Legend of the Gobbos? How goddamn challenging it is.

My Original Headline For This Article Was: "Is 'Croc: Legend of the Gobbos' The 'Dark Souls' Of Classic Platformers?"

For the uninitiated, there are three truths to Croc: Legend of the Gobbos.

1. It doesn't get enough respect in the "platformers everyone can agree are great" arena, I tells ya.
2. It is flawed, which I'll get into in a second.
3. The soundtrack is wall-to-wall, capital B BANGERS.

The Gobbos have been abducted by Baron Dante. Croc has to get them back and kick the hell out of Dante while he's at it. You know, a rivalry up there with the classics: Professor X vs. Magneto, Sherlock Holmes vs. James Moriarty, Mario vs. Bowser, and Croc vs. Dante.

If you're a tryhard like ya boy, however, your time in Croc will be spent collecting five solid-colored gems and six Gobbos within any given non-boss level (minus the secret levels, but that's for you to figure out). "What makes that so hard?" Well, let's start with the controls!

We Celebrate Flawed Greatness At Glizzy

Imagine, if you will, that you're walking outside. There's an unavoidable patch of ice on the ground. You hesitantly test how slippery it is before you continue down the sidewalk. If you don't proceed carefully, you'll bust your ass. Now, apply that scenario to holding a controller and breathing sharply every time you jump from one platform to the next -- fear in your heart as you move a backpack-laden, bipedal baby crocodile through perilous obstacles. I'm not just talking platforms, I'm talking devils that shoot fireballs, googly-eyed sharks, and a host of fiendish environmental roadblocks.

Oh, did I mention hitting enemies with the ol' Kaboo/Ahdoo/Kersplat tail attack requires good timing? One wrong move, and Croc loses every single gem you've collected. Speaking of gems, want to know a fun fact? The default collectible gems are multicolored, in contrast with the solid "opens special doors" gems. One of the five solid-colored gems you'll need for that 100% accolade could be hiding among those normal gems. There's no visual indication for this, by the way. You just have to collect as many regular gems as you can and hope for the best. (Though they are usually hiding in the middle of a line of normal gems.)

Then, once you have all the appropriate gems and five Gobbos, you can enter the "Gem Door" to collect your final Gobbo and leave. This, dear reader, is where hell truly begins.

I Didn't Know You Were Like This, Croc

In case you're curious to play Croc: Legend of the Gobbos yourself, I won't spoil every surprise hidden behind the Gem Doors. I do have one fun story, though. In one of the game's desert levels, a Gem Door brought me to a dark room where Croc -- being the bastion of goodness he is -- is the only source of light around. There's also a lingering gem-eating ghost. Forgot about him.

The gimmick here is that you're racing the ghost for a key, which will help you free the sixth and final Gobbo. But, wait! We have a twist! The ghost, it turns out, likes shiny things. It'll grab as many gems as it can, slowing it down ever so slightly. This means you want to leave as many gems as possible. Cutting tight corners. Desperate leaps. Endless thrills.

If the ghost reaches the key before Croc, the key's gone. Not just "you have to let Croc perish and restart the race," oh, no. But "if the ghost gets that key, you must restart the whole level because it's permanently gone now." The cruel (kinda hilarious) part? You can reset the race, but at the end, there's no key. Just your sense of personal validation! Croc: Legend of the Gobbos has so many "you're gonna earn that last Gobbo" moments that fill me with sadistic (masochistic?) glee!

Welcome to Schoolhouse Croc

Croc ended up somehow satisfying that hunger that keeps me going. When I felt too comfortable, Croc humbled me with a new trial to overcome. I crave that challenge -- I need it. If I'm not getting better doing something, it starts driving me crazy. Did I expect a precious one-toothed Croc to give me that extra push while I get back on my feet? No! But I'll tell you this: I've never been happier to have so passionately defended Croc throughout the years!