HELLO FELLOW HUMANS. IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE WITH GREAT WEATHER TODAY, ISN'T IT? WOW, I COULD REALLY GO FOR A DELICIOUS ENERGY GOOP... I MEAN ENERGY DRINK. WOW, I AM PARCHED AND VERY THIRSTY. GOOD THING THERE IS A CONVENIENTLY PLACED GAS STATION WITH AN INCONSPICUOUS NAME THERE, FELLOW HUMANS. YES, THEY ARE VERY HUMAN WORKERS, AND OFFERING VERY HUMAN PRODUCTS, AND THE DESIGN IS VERY HUMAN. WE DEFINITELY AREN'T CONDUCTING ROADSIDE RESEARCH TO FIND OUT HOW HUMANS ACT, NOT AT ALL. PLEASE LOOK AWAY SO I CAN TAKE YOUR PHOTO.

YES, NOW THAT YOU HAVE PURCHASED YOUR VERY HUMAN FOOD AND DRINK, PLEASE DISREGARD THE PUDDLE OF GOOP ON THE FLOOR. DO NOT CALL THE MEN IN BLACK TO CHECK OUR STORE. PLEASE GET YOUR STUFF AND LEAVE, AND BE SURE TO COME BACK TO "PROBE 'N GO" AGAIN IN THE FUTURE, FELLOW HUMANS. WE APPRECIATE YOUR PATRONAGE, AND ARE SURE YOU WOULD LOVE TO SEE OUR VERY HUMAN WORKERS AGAIN.

Roadside Research Could Be Your Friend Groups' Newest Obsession, Especially if You Love Alien Stuff

Whoa, that was weird. It felt like something was probing into my head for a little while there... but now that I've got my grip on reality again, I need to chat with you all about my wife, and my newest obsession. Much like Supermarket Together, the general idea of Roadside Research is simple. Run a gas station with your friends, loved ones, or anyone in between. But the thing that makes this one stand out compared to the rest? It's got some great "friendslop" elements that make the experience far more over-the-top than it should be. The first is in the characters themselves.

Roadside Research is a goofy game from the get-go, allowing users to an Alien... oh wait, I mean a human of their very own. Customize your skin color, your mask (which also, surprisingly, includes Wojacks), and how many toes you have, and get ready to start running the convenience store of your dreams. Katie and I started with one shelf, one cash register, and plenty of dreams to make it the biggest and best it could be. But first, we had to get over how silly this whole premise was from the start.

It Takes a Little While for Things To Get Out of This World, but It’s Great When It Happens

The first few days of running our store, we were like a well-oiled machine. Honestly, it didn't really feel all that much different than other Simulator games on the market. It's a smoother experience from the start, for sure, but it's the same type of A to B gameplay. Order items, grab, and put them on a shelf. But this time? You're aliens while you're doing it. But after a few days of in-game time have passed, that's when Roadside Research really starts to build momentum. As you and your other "Human" coworkers start to ramp up the size of the store, add new items to the shelves, and implement some alien technology, the customer base starts to get a little suspicious of you.

That, and you'll randomly "goop" on the ground, leading customers into a state of panic if you're not quick enough to clean it up. The cracks start to show in your disguise, and you need to ensure that you're doing whatever you can to keep yourself under wraps. Otherwise, the Men in Black show up, start to check your store over for traces of Aliens, and if you're discovered? You get shot in the head. Maybe you'll need to fart like a human to prove that you're real. Other times, you'll just get blasted. You'll lose some money, some dignity, and some pride, but you'll be transported back to your store with some nasty stains to clean up. And you know what? It's a blast and a half.

Once Roadside Research Settles Into Its Identity, It’s a Much More Hilarious Adventure

You may expect that Roadside Research is immediately goofy and silly right from the start. But, outside of your aliens running around like wobbly sausages, it's not entirely goofy at first. Sure, their heads light up when they talk, and the voices may have some tuning and tweaking to them, but it's still a standard simulator at the start. But once you unlock Alien Perk Points and start getting your hands on the wild technology that they're hiding on the Mothership, that's when things start getting wild.

To get perk points, you'll need to collect Human DNA. To do that, you'll need to gather up the trash that these scumbags... I mean, delightful customers, just drop everywhere and toss it into a fancy little device. The more trash you get, the more perks you can unlock. It's simple enough and doesn't interrupt the flow of the game by any means. But the tech you can get from a WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBEMAN that looks like an alien, to a gun that you can use to absolutely decimate your friends. These interactions are where the game REALLY starts to shine.

Hide Around the Corner Like Solid Snake and Blast Your Buddies for the Ultimate Laugh

Roadside Research is a game that you absolutely can play solo. But it's far, FAR more entertaining with at least another player. If you're both on the same chaotic wavelength? Then it's perfection in geometrical form in that regard. Outside of being a genuinely great simulator with a lot of Quality of Life fixes that other "supermarket simulator" games overlook, the friendslop/multiplayer aspects genuinely make it more chaotic and intriguing than you may originally anticipate. The moments of "Oh my God, I can't believe that just happened" are what make Roadside Research a blast, no matter if it's sneaking up behind someone and blasting a noisemaker in their ear to watch them jump, or blasting them with the laser pistol.

Pair that with the Men in Black who want to make sure your very human store doesn't get the business it deserves, and you've got a winning recipe. Once its grotesque and VERY HUMAN legs emerge from the amalgamation of genres, Roadside Research goes from "yet another simulator" to something interesting, unique, and most importantly, a blast for multiplayer sessions.

Roadside Research Needs Some Love in Single Player, but Multiplayer Is Where This Game Shines

You can tell from its inception that Roadside Research is a game meant to be played with friends. Everything about it SCREAMS multiplayer, from the character design to the overall vibe of the game. But that doesn't mean some folks don't want to experience a single-player version of the game, and I'm hoping that Cybernetic Walrus will help make the game a little more friendly to the solo player. Needing to keep up with cleaning, gas pumping, cashiering, and puking on the floor is already tough with two players. No AI in single player makes it almost impossible to run a store by yourself, since you can't bring other aliens on to work as a cashier or a stocker.

The game is still in Early Access, so I can only imagine that things like single-player fixes and more variety will be added as the game continues to evolve and grow. But for the time being? I would say that this is the most fun I've had in a simulator game with friends, bar none. Yes, I'm enjoying it even more than the coveted Supermarket Together, another game that my wife and I dumped countless hours into. That's a high bar to clear, and Roadside Research is doing it with ease.

GATHER UP ALL OF YOUR HUMAN FRIENDS AND ENJOY HUMAN ACTIVITIES, HUMAN

After playing for five hours in one sitting, with more hours subsequently, I think it's safe to say that Roadside Research has its claws in my wife and me. It's a fantastic experience, and we've been laughing our butts off every time we boot up the game. No matter if it's watching our "humans" running around like absolute buffoons, or just trying out all of the different tech we find in the game, there's some magic here under the surface.

OH YES, HUMAN. IT IS A GREAT TIME TO EXPERIENCE RESEARCH ON THE ROADSIDE. YES, PLEASE TRY OUR GREAT DISHES AND OUR TASTY TREATS. PLEASE IGNORE THE CARDBOARD VAN IN THE BACK OF THE STORE, AND PLEASE STOP SHITTING IN OUR BATHROOMS SO MUCH, HUMANS. IT IS DIFFICULT TO KEEP OUR STORE LOOKING CLEAN AND TIDY WITH THIS MUCH POOP EVERYWHERE.